As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
