Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
