the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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