maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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