Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
