he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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