So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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