it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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