I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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