conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
