I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
there is glitter all over my balls
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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