Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
