ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want to be your penis for a week.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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