I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
