haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
