she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
