Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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