i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
