I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Randomize
