I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
