He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
