Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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