I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
