this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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