i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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