Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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