What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
