U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
