I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
