I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
