You work out of a Hotel?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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