drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need moral support for this bender
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
