my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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