he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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