I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
