If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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