We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
