new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize