he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
