Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
