Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
