U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will be naked everywhere
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
