My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
