even my farts smell like vagina
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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