no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
