Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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