It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
