It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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