I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
