we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
