you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize