how can u be prego again
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
