Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
