...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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