you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Barsexuality is the new black.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
