They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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