I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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