my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
